The Hurt and the Healer- Part V: A Series of Conversations
by Nothing Really Specific
Summary: Reepicheep converses with the ship Captain who is going through self doubt, fear, and questions the meaning of it all. PLEASE REVIEW! Note: Intense moment of decision.


**The Hurt and the Healer**

* * *

**Part V of _"A Series of Conversations"_**

* * *

The deck all stood silent as Reepicheep re-entered. It was grim, for they all knew something was wrong.

Reepicheep looked around and noticed something off about all this and made an assumption of the situation:

_Every single man is lamented, cursing their inner demons to crawl into abysses and die there._

Caspian was on the floor bleeding but very much alive. Reepicheep's sword was in his hand- it was submerged in red. The King cried due to loss, his head was clear, his mind no longer clouded. Reepicheep walked over to him and asked him to look at him. Caspian did so and the mouse saw grief, pain, misery, all the pain in the world written upon his face.

"I'm sorry." Caspian said to the rodent, still crying, "I know you two were close."

"He was a brother to us all." The mouse said.

Edmund was trying to hide all emotion, but being a human being and only a child still, he broke down. He walked over to Caspian, kneeled beside him, placing a arm around him, and swayed. They both revealed their grief and Reepicheep learned two things: grief and humanity correlate. The mouse said and did nothing but stand there and watch them share of moment of uniform pain. The only thing that kept him from breaking down at that moment was his way of grief. Private and consul of one.

* * *

Reepicheep left them alone after a while and went into the Captain Quarters to see what the next step would be. He figured he could play receiver of message for a day.

The Captain was hunching over a table with a map, using a compass he was charting the course. The mouse noticed that he was agonizing over something, because the Captain was shaking his head in frustration, as if he were about to tear his hair out. The mouse naturally made his way for the door, sensing the personal matter and privacy that was needed for it to be solved when the Captain, who noticed him said:

"Stay."

Reepicheep nodded and turned towards him, saying nothing, and simply watched.

_Interestingly, _the mouse said, _his distraught face is unmoving but his legs and feet are pacing._

"Lose something?" Reepicheep asked.

"W-what?" the Captain said a bit taken aback by the question.

"I said did you lose something?" The mouse repeated as he walked towards the table.

"My sanity." The Captain answered.

Reepicheep laughed to himself: "You described the prime excuse for fear which is simply a mere allusion, a façade, and a glorious sham."

The Captain nodded and walked to the other side of the table, offering to help the mouse up by offering his hand.

"I don't do that." Reepicheep said with a 'you must be insane if you really think I'm going to ride in your hand' type of face.

"Ah that's right, apologizes." The Captain said and made his way back around to his place. Reepicheep scaled the leg of the table and was up and over as if he were training for it all his life.

"Where are we?" The rodent asked.

"Oh I'd say right about here." The Captain replied pointing at the map. Reepicheep walked on the map and headed eastward.

"Here is where we are going." The mouse said. "Now what are you questioning?"

"The reality of it. There's nothing there according to this. We're going blind!"

"Blind isn't the word sir, for maps can be incorrect when sailing the world, the only true compasses that can truly be reliable is Polaris and faith."

"What if I can't see the bloody star Reepicheep?" The Captain cried, "I want to be sure of where we are going."

"Of course you do," Reepicheep said, "everyone wants to be sure but no one ever is, that is why you must turn to faith every morning. I said there are two compasses not strictly one. You forgot faith, if you forget that then we might as well be falling off the edge."

The rodent looked out the window and noticed that a rainstorm was moving in.

"We're coming into some weather." Reepicheep said.

"Are we?" The Captain turned around, and said in a 'I really don't care about anything anymore' sort of way:

"Oh, so we are."

Reepicheep shot a glance of surprise. "Is your faith so little that you cannot navigate through a rainstorm?"

"Yes." The Captain said.

"Well, do you believe in your crew to see you through?"

"Of course I do." The Captain answered.

"Then why do you fear?" The mouse asked.

"Because I don't think I can see it through Reepicheep."

Reepicheep sighed, and for a moment, his hope dwindled as he thought of what to say to help the poor man, to do something to instill some sort of vigor, some form of belief.

"You have a duty to your crew to pull through," Reepicheep said, "we're going to die without some course direction."

"Tavros is the helmsman, he is perfectly capable."

Reepicheep nodded , closed his eyes and thought again. When he opened them again he saw the Captain staring blankly out the window as if he were considering the end. The Captain took a deep breath noticing the water was getting choppier and choppier and the wind fiercer and fiercer, the ship rocked a bit. The Captain looked towards a weapon rack which was located on the wall to the right. There was, very precariously, a battle axe, that was lethally sharpened.

"Captain," Reepicheep said as he made his way to the edge of the table. "do you wish to do so?"

"Yes Reepicheep, I wish to do so."

"I will not stop you," Reepicheep replied. The Captain nodded in thanks as moved toward the weapon rack.

"But know that I will lose a father."

The Captain turned towards him. "What did you say?"

"I will lose a father," Reepicheep said, "to see me through the storm."

"I can't do it Reepicheep, not when there's the unknown."

"What is unknown?" The mouse asked.

"The destination."

"We may not discover it unless we get through the storm, unless you get us through the storm. You're the Captain damn it, don't stand there and let fear control you. You can control the outcome, now go and take charge!"

"It's not that simple Reepicheep."

"That's fear talking again," the mouse said, "you're too blinded by fear and worry that you no longer see the reward in life so you doom the rest of us."

"The crew can handle itself." The Captain said and made his way towards the weapon rack again. He picked up the battle axe.

"What of the guilt, it would break their hearts to know of this."

"You'll take care of them." The Captain replied.

"I'm not a therapist, simply a mouse sir. You're my Captain, now see me through!"

"Why?"

The rain began to pelt down with force, the ship was furiously fighting.

"Because I have belief in you! You think you're alone in a never-ending storm? Fine! So am I sir! So am I! A storm that rages more fierce than this and one that drains hope and faith but it cannot drain the belief that we can surface above it, charge through it and survive."

The Captain lifted the weapon, and heard the small unsheathing of a sword. The Captain looked over and saw that Reepicheep was mirroring his motions.

"I will do it sire." Reepicheep said.

"No you won't."

"Yes I will," the mouse said, "if you have fallen so far to not find belief or hope and denounce all faith, if you find yourself alone, you're not."

"Put it away Reepicheep."

"I'm afraid I can't do that."

"Put it away," the Captain said, "that's an order."

"I'm sorry I believe only the Captain can do that at the moment." Reepicheep said.

"I am the Captain-"

"No you're not, you said it yourself. You're a nobody, a simple old fool who is caught in a storm." Reepicheep said, smiling a bit but being careful not to show his trickery too much. It was still a delicate situation.

The mouse then placed the tip of his blade up against himself just over the stomach- seppuku.

"Reepicheep, stop this you're being-"

"Ridiculous?" The mouse said finishing the Captain's sentence in the form of a question.

The Captain nodded and saw the connection. He put the battle axe back on the rack.

Reepicheep safely sheathed his sword and stood there. The Captain turned towards him, "You believe in me?"

"Is it raining?" Reepicheep asked.

"Yes." The Captain said.

"Your answer then." Reepicheep replied.

The ship rocked a bit, a wave had come up over the deck, water slowly poured in from underneath the door.

A fierce knock.

"Come in." The Captain said.

"Sir," it was Edmund, "which way do we go?"

The Captain turned towards the mouse who motioned a continue forward motion with his paw. The Captain nodded and walked towards the boy: "Continue on."

"But sir it's-"

"Just a rainstorm."

"Aren't you afraid of-"

"Death?" The Captain said. "Of course, but I think we'll be fine." He looked back towards the mouse who simply bowed with an extension of his front paws in a t motion, welcoming his services to him.

"Continue onward Your Majesty." The Captain said, still looking at the rodent who stood in the same position, waiting for response. The Captain did the same motion, bowed with an extension of his arms in a t motion, welcoming his services to him.

"Gramercy." Reepicheep said.

"What does that mean?" The Captain asked.

"That sir," Reepicheep said with a smile as he jumped from the table, "is an entirely different conversation."


End file.
